Accepting Applications...

I wish I had a chef that would have dinner ready for me when I get home cause I really don't want to do it. And then the chef would do the dishes. And maybe vacuum a little. I would also like to be greeted with a martoony on a little tray. Is it too much to ask?

ps. A martoony is a martini, only bigger.

I Need To Drink More...

It's official. H1N1 has hit my office. I just sanitized the eff out of my desk area and I'm pretty sure that Purell is now part of my bloodstream. It's freaking me out and I never get sick, which means that because I'm on holidays next week it's pretty much a guarantee that I will. Wish me good thoughts internets. I don't want this shit.

It's Like We're Twelve...

I changed my blog title and the look, just in case you haven't noticed. I think I was bored with both and Mindisms is probably a more accurate description of what my brain produces anyway.

What's new, you ask? Maybe you didn't but I'm going to tell you. I went to a friends house for Halloween to watch cheesy/scary movies. We were supposed to each bring one, the cheesier the better. I don't own any horror movies. It's not that I don't like them, it's just how many times can you watch a scary movie? We ended up watching Paranormal Activity and Sleepaway Camp. Paranormal Activity was mostly pretty scary. There are a lot of slow, in between parts but mostly we were sufficiently creeped out at the end. What I took away from it was: Don't make an angry ghost angrier and Ouiji boards are not helpful. Sleepaway camp has an equally disturbing ending but for a different reason. I won't say what it is, mostly because there are no words, but I don't know how I found myself saying, "Oh my god, I forgot! Hahaha! Ewwww!" It's been about 15 years since I've seen it. I probably just blocked it out. For good reasons.

We also made candy apples and they were soooo good. We each made one caramel and one chocolate one and decorated them with mini marshmallows, mini-chips and smarties.

Friday starts my week of 'holidays'. I'm not going anywhere, I'm just getting the hell out of work. I haven't had any time off since July and I'm starting to feel it. I cannot wait to sleep in and not have to ride the Skytrain.

Anyhoos, that's all for now.

Pumpkins and Orphans...

Saturday night some friends and got together at A. and R.'s house for drinking and pumpkin carving and I must say that we yielded some darn good ones.

We played a round of Disney Scene It. It's much harder that you would think, especially when they throw in the really old movies. S. was still carving her pumpkin at this point. I think in all it took her a good 3 hours.

After L. and E. went home we watched The Orphan which starts out good and scary, but turns out hilarious and obvious. The lesson learned is never adopt a mysterious 'Russian' orphan with no background because she will kill you and try to steal your husband. And then try out for the Russian hammer killing olympics.

This Is Only A Test...

I stole this from A.'s blog and am now filling it out instead of completing my year end assessment for work (which is due tomorrow).

1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?

Plenty of people, but none that I would put in writing. That's just evidence that can be used against me later. (Just kidding. Maybe.)


2. How do you flush the toilet in public?

With my foot. The real question should be how do other people not flush the toilet in public.


3. Do you wear your seat belt in the car?

Yes, unless there is none available.


4. Do you have a crush on someone?

Of course. He will be mine.


5. Name one thing you worry about running out of.

Money, sanity, toilet paper...etc.


6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?

I've never been told that I resemble any famous person. When I was thinner and had long hair I maybe looked like Tiffany. Mall your coming soon.


7. What is your favourite pizza topping?

I'm not a big pizza person, but as long as there are no mushrooms or onions on it, I'm good.


8. Do you crack your knuckles?

All the time.


9. What song do you hate the most?

I've recently become very, very annoyed with anything Beyonce, especially Single Ladies. What a stupid song.


10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?

Nope. I have Sweet Caroline in my head from watching Glee last night. Bah, bah, bah...


11. What are your super powers?

The power to be facetious? I think it was a power I was born with.



12. Peppermint or spearmint?

Spearmint.


13. Where are your car keys?

In my imaginary car?


14. Last song you listened to?


Something AC/DC while I was getting ready this morning.

15. What's your most annoying habit?

Talking during movies.


16. Where did you last go on vacation?

Vacation? What's that?


17. What is your best physical feature?

I've been told it's my hair, but we're having a fight right now and are not on good terms.


18. What CD is closest to you right now?

None.


19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?

Cheese, margarine, water jug.


20. What superstition do you believe/practice?

I don't believe in superstitions.


21. What colour are your bed sheets?

Dark green.


22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird?

A bird, because fish are gross and disgusting.


23. Last thing you broke?

I don't remember.


24. What are you having to eat tonight?

I haven't decided yet. Probably some form of soup.


25. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Purple, not that anyone can see it. It's freezing in my office and I've been wearing my hoodie everyday, all day in the office. I could be wearing the same shirt 5 days a week and nobody would even know (I haven't, buy the way, just to clarify).


26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing?

Sleeping. I'm pretty sure that the complete lack of sleep I've had lately is resulting in my angeries and eye twitch.


27. Do security cameras make you nervous?

Hahaha. Should they? Did someone see something? You can't blackmail me.


28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be?

The Crazies Guide to Living Your Life

29. Last time you went to a cemetery?

It's been a long time. I used to live across the street from one. It's wasnt' scary, it was kinda peaceful. Coyotes lived there at night so you stayed out after dark.


30. Last concert you went to?

Wow, I think it was City & Colour. So long ago.


31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?

Probably City & Colour because it was at the Orpheum and that's an amazing place to see a concert. I saw Justin Timberlake a year ago (?). The stage was round and they had giant screens. There was no way that you couldn't see everything no matter where you sat.


32. Next concert you're planning to attend?

There's nothing on my concert going horizon. Sadly.

33. Do you talk to yourself?

Only all the time. I answer too.

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet?

Yes.

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born?
No, and I don't really plan to be in the future either. I've seen it on TV and gross!

The Rage...

Wow, seriously, I am sitting at my desk seething with rage right now. Want to know why? It's because I ordered an Iced Capp from Tim Hortons and received an undrinkable cup of syrupy slug. "Just take it back," you say. It's not really an option. You see, one of my co-workers so kindly asked if she could grab me anything when she went downstairs to get herself a coffee (and this is in no way her fault) and came back with this disgusting excuse for a drink. I don't really have the option to leave my desk outside of my lunch break so I can't really go down and return it. I even went on their website to write a nasty note. I didn't get to send it though. It erased it on me. This is not helping their cause one little bit.

So, now I'm sitting here, hands shaking with anger contemplating doing one of those little Tim Hortons jerks some bodily harm. Not even kidding. I really want to break a neck, slap a face, kick a shin, something to make me feel better. I actually yelled at my desk. A girl in the cubical across the way said, "Oh my god, I've never seen kk so angry."

I've noticed that it's been really easy to set me off lately. I get fed up at every little thing. I curse people walking in front of me at the Skytrain station, people at work who ask dumb questions, the lady who's giant and unnecessary purse kept digging into my arm on the bus (why does she need to carry around so much effin' crap anyway and if she doesn't move it she's not gonna like what I do with it), etc.

I didn't really want to make this an anger/complaint blog but writing this all down might actually save a life today. Hopefully something funny happens to me soon before my brain explodes.

ps. DD, you might have to end up bailing both A. and I out if jail. Heads up.

Meatloaf Is NOT Turkey...

Well, if that headline is any clue, you'll have rightly guessed that I didn't get to have turkey this Thanksgiving. Nope. We had meatloaf. And rice. Not even mashed potatoes. I think I might be slightly traumatized by this. I did get to spend time with my 4 year old nephew which I love. He just got back two weeks ago from a trip to Saskatchewan and told me his favorite thing was laying in the grass and looking up in the sky at the "Milky Waves".


Girls night wasn't quite as eventful as last time but still contained some funny stuff:

• "If you bring your bike to bed, I'm bringing my squirrel!"


• "Did you just say Eskimo? Well, it makes sense. There was an Eskimo in the road."


• "You guys, I'm tipsy. Yay!"

Then I pretty much did nothing for the rest of my weekend due to that stupid fire drill. I'm still recovering. How sick is that? I refuse from now on to go down those stairs unless I can visibly see fire. Cause then it will be worth it.

Oh, The Humanity...

I work on the 28th floor of an office building. We had a fire drill yesterday. That means that everyone has to take the stairs all the way down. There are 2 flights per floor. So, basically, I walked down 56 flights of stairs in 6 1/2 minutes.

Now, normally I wouldn't complain about an extra break in the day from work, but I actually think I might be dying. My legs a refusing to hold me in a standing position today or even attempt forward motion. This is not even the worst part. The worst part is, I have to pee and I don't think that I will be able to get back up once I'm in there. I'm a little scared.

Blogging Is Hard (For Me Anyways)...

Well, I haven't added anything on here in a while. Sorry. Life's been boring and I just feel blah about writing about it. So, just to keep people happy, here's some stuff:

I'm looking forward to girls' night on Friday and I'm hoping that it has some funny shit for me to write about cause nothing has been happening lately. We're trying to have a girl's night at least once a month. We had one last month that was too funny and we may not be able to go back to that Cactus Club again. I'm hoping that A. has a few doubles and mishears things to hilarious consequences ("Umm, did that waitress just whisper 'taliban' to you?"). Not to mention that the last time was DD without any drinks and look where that dirty conversation went. Let's just say that the waitress suggested that we should have some water.

I'll be having more that one of these.

I'm also looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. My mom makes the best Thanksgiving dinner. It's the only thing, besides Halloween, that I like about fall. I miss the warm weather already.

Also, long weekend! Extra long for me because I took Friday off, too. Sigh. I need it.

That is all. For now.

It's Funny Cause It's True...

DD sent me this picture of a t-shirt which she thought was appropriate for me:

I suppose she thinks that both my general dislike for people and the voices in my head should be advertised. Maybe they should...as a warning. It's for your own personal safety people!

My Computer Hates Me...

Well, since my computer at home has decided to stubbornly pick and choose when to work I am stuck blogging at work (Ha! Take that corporate soul-suckers!). I 've been fairly busy lately with work and planning for my friend DD's birthday that I haven't had anything to add here. Sad. I can't write any of the plans here yet cause she reads this, but I will update on Monday. And maybe when I figure out what is wrong with my computer I'll add some pictures.

Stay tuned. TTFN.

The Universe Wants Me To...

My horoscope is telling me to shop! Freakin' sweet!

My Daily Horoscope: Cancer
7/31/2009- Give yourself a present today -- it can be tiny, but it should mean something to you. Every now and then, you need to remind yourself how awesome you are, so you can keep going with everything else.

Somebody tell my wallet to grow some money. STAT!